the will to live- day 30
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Graphic: Black Women Are Poetry T-shirt
7 Let the wicked forsake their ways and the unrighteous their thoughts. Let them turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on them, and to our God, for he will freely pardon. 8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
- Isaiah 55:7-9
Blessed New Moon Family! What an amazing evening to settle in God’s presence as I solidify my #WillToLive. For this particular journey, I was instructed to let go of every idea of happiness I had in my head. That meant letting relationships that didn’t serve me pass away; including the unhealthy relationship I had with myself. I willingly and intentionally let God into every area of my life. I gladly assumed the position of a student. By doing this, I discovered how, with the help of God, I could make the pain I had endured productive. I no longer chose to be a slave to rumination, lust, anxiety, fear, insecurity, or resentment. I finally found out that I could heal myself ! I have been set free! It is my prayer that those of you who have journeyed with me, have grown in love with this process as I have.
There’s something so empowering about relinquishing control to your Heavenly Father/Mother. What a joy it is to put your trust in Divine predestination. I stopped fighting the flow of growth. I put down my selfish desires and followed the call of Spirit to lead, inspire, and live my life beyond myself. Healing starts within but it’s not meant to only be for you! That’s what a testimony is for, my friends and family. I discovered that my #WillToLive has always been and will always be rooted in the truth of God’s abundant presence in my life. I may not always know where I’m being lead, but I know that if God is leading me, it will far exceed anything that I can conceptualize as good for me.
God took the ugliest parts of my life and made them beautiful. He made a mosaic of my broken glass. I’ve never felt so beautiful, strong, empowered, and purposeful. I don’t know what’s next, but this journey has reignited a fire I thought had went out. I will continue to fan the flame of purpose because it’s a feeling like no other. I grew in love with every piece of pain I ever encountered. In my weaknesses God has been made perfect. This doesn’t mean that the journey is over. In fact, it has just begun. This next chapter will bring me new love that looks like God’s perception of my heart.
May God’s abundant presence arrest you where you are. May a strong sense of knowing lead you right where you need to be. Free fall into purpose! You can’t lose! It’s lit y’all. And so I leave you with this prayer...
From scars to stars you’ve made me beautiful, God. Thank you for the journey, the lessons, the love, the grace, and the mercy you have shown me. Thank you for being an example of intentional love in my life. God, I may not know what’s next, but I trust you. I trust your perfect plan for my life. God when you move, I’ll move with no hesitation! God I realize that your thoughts are truly higher than my thoughts. You have an aerial view of my entire life. I’m learning to trust your vision more and more everyday. God, help me to see me the way you see me. Help me to love myself the way you love me. Show me how to live out loud and love with pure intention. Cheers to us God! We did it and we’re going to keep doing it. I love you and I will show you by honoring myself and the beautiful gifts and people you have entrusted me with. From my heart to yours.